The Empty Dishwasher

In terms of equanimity, you explained it as peacefulness with whatever is happening.  Is that something to maintain or work towards maintaining?

Well, it depends on where you are at in your practice.  The work towards maintaining is not necessarily work in the way we would normally think of work. When we’re aware we can maintain equanimity by being aware of what’s arising, what’s in our awareness, and what is ceasing, what is leaving our awareness.  As situations come into our life, we know exactly where our mind is standing in every moment.  In a sense, that’s not really work.  It’s simple awareness, which is our natural state of being.  We’re not used to being in awareness.  often times we’re distracted so we have to put in some effort to remind ourselves of the practice, so we meditate, we pause, we may say mantras.  We work with the mind to be aware so that we can change our habitual patterns and stop walking down the same old path.  When we do that, then we se the nature of what is arising and know that we don’t have to react to it.

Let me give you a simple example.  People get into habits for even the smallest things like  loading the dishwasher. We  have a certain way of placing the plates, the cups and the bowls.  If we are working in the kitchen with someone else and are unaware, meaning our monkey mind is in charge,  this might spark negativity in us and we might even fight about these things because we think that it’s important that the dishwasher be loaded in the correct way, which of course, is our way.  As we are loading the dishwasher, maybe our roommate moves the bowl we just placed on the bottom rack of the dishwasher and places it on the top rack instead. If we are aware we notice annoyance arising, We might think, “Why does that person always do that?  Don’t I know how to do anything?”  We start feeding ourselves this story.  If we’re aware, we can see that it’s a story, that it is just sound that we’re making in our head. If we are aware at any point these thoughts may not even fully manifest. In other words, the story stops as soon as we notice. As the annoyance starts to arise, we notice that it’s arising, then we can look at it directly. We might note, “There’s that story.”

At some point we might have to decide if we want to be “right” and continue in our old ways, creating conflict and disharmony in the world and in our own minds or if we want to wake-up. Instead of reacting out of our habitual pattern, we can can simply watch the thoughts arising and let them fizzle out on their own, without expressing or attaching to them.  We gain equanimity, by seeing the empty nature of thought and experience.

Bodhisattvas

In following Shantideva’s bodhisattva path, how do we take care to not give all of our selves away?  Do we maintain boundaries?  How does compassion for the self manifest hand in hand with being a boat, a raft, a bridge?

This is always a concern for us and it’s a concern that most human beings possess because it’s a concern that arises from the ego.  This ego wants to establish itself firmly and to continue to establish itself it has to exert effort because ego naturally falls away.  It is not substantial so it has to be built up again and again.  Ego is always worried about falling apart and disappearing forever.  When we talk about dying in terms of the dharma path, we’re talking about dying to the self that we don’t construct the self again and again.  We let it fall apart, deconstruct, because that’s what it’s always doing.  We feel so exhausted because we’re putting forth a good deal of effort to keep it alive.  That sounds strange doesn’t it?  We may think that we’re not doing this, but it’s very subtle and we keep establishing it again and again because we keep believing that there is a separate self.  

Maybe we haven’t yet touched emptiness, so we think that somebody can take something from us. We can ask ourselves, “Who is there to take and who is doing the taking?”  Can anybody really take anything away from us except those things that appear in the relative realm?  I have this watch and I may come in the room and it’s not here and somebody’s taken it, right?  But who is the owner of this watch in the ultimate sense?  Where is that which owns this watch?  The watch is borrowed because everything is borrowed.  We’re not here forever, so I’m just using this watch for a little while and where is the I that is attached to this particular watch?  My watch?  First, we have to establish this ego.  This is mine.  It’s all about me and my watch.  Then when somebody takes my Timex $12.99 watch, I’m very sad about it because it is the only watch I have that I can read without my glasses.

This understanding can’t come from our heads.  If we spend all out time up in our heads, we can’t get this.  It has to come from our heart.  It is true that in order to live, we have to care for this body, this form.  We feed it, we drink water, and we exercise it.  We do all kinds of things for this body.  Because usually we’re just very attached to the body.  We’re not always taking care of the body based on an altruistic motivation, thinking I need this body to wake-up.  This body is such a precious gift and as we all know, it can be taken instantaneously.  

We’re always worried about the body.  There are and there have been amazing masters who sacrificed their bodies for others. I’m not recommending this, but there is a story about a master who saw a beggar and he was just a pathetic looking person, very emaciated, stinky, and awful.  So he took him and fed him.  He noticed his coat and he gave him another one and took the coat that he had because it was covered in lice.  The lice had been living off this man, sucking his energy from him, sucking literally his life’s blood from him.  This great master said, “What do I do?  These beings are dependent on this blood.”  So he put the coat on and he wore it.  As time went by, he was in the same position as this beggar in regards to his physical body, but his mind was clear and luminous.  Until we have an experience of emptiness, this makes no sense whatsoever.  

Do we maintain boundaries?  When we give from an open heart, it’s not exhausting.  We may want to maintain boundaries for the benefit of the other person.  We don’t give everybody everything they want.  That’s not good for them.  We use the wisdom that is innate to do the right thing so what we give might be different for every person.  That’s why there are so many different kinds of practices for different people, different personalities, and different tendencies.  There are wrathful practices where the Lama may just holler at someone and cut them down and say wrathful things in order to break the ego down, because that’s what needs to be done for that person.  That might be the only thing that works for this particular person.  Of course, this takes wisdom and shouldn’t be done out of ignorance. We want to make sure we are of benefit and don’t cause harm. We need insight to see what is going to work for each person. 

How does compassion for the self manifest hand in hand with being a boat, a raft, a bridge?  This again is letting go of the ego and being of benefit in whatever way suits those that are in need.  Like I was just saying, we don’t give everybody the same thing.  If a beggar on the street asks for alcohol, it may not be the best thing for him, so we have to see through all the veils and find a clear and direct answer.  This is a very good question.  It is fear that keeps us worried about losing our selves.  

Welcome!

Welcome to the Heart of the Dharma sangha blog! My intention is to use this space for short teachings, answering questions I’ve been asked in the past, and celebrating the Dharma with short quotations from others with whom I feel a strong affinity. It will also be another venue for communicating with you about the activities of Heart of the Dharma.  I hope you will find the blog useful.

 As you all may already know, this sangha, has been influenced by the light of Anam Thubten Rinpoche’s vast wisdom. Over the years I have received many teachings from Anam Thubten Rinpoche and I found that he is always able to cut through to the heart of the Dharma. I took inspiration from his wisdom and decided to name the organization under which we all practice, “Heart of the Dharma”.  The essence, or heart of the matter, is the truth. We can see this when we cut through our long held habits that have previously obscured the truth from our view. When our lenses are clear we are able to see the simplicity of the Dharma. If we pause and are present right now, we can experience the simple profundity of this very moment. Without thoughts of getting somewhere or trying to figure things out, we come to the heart of the Dharma naturally. Prajnaparamita is transcendent wisdom and rests at the heart of the Dharma. It is not a dogma, a belief, nor is it a school of thought; instead it is the direct experience of transcendent wisdom. It is seeing through clear lenses, beyond those of our habitual tendencies, into the truth itself.